I'm Eli Fenton, and I, like, made this set of web pages because I felt like it and because I'm a Computer Nerd. Of course, technically, Computer Nerds aren't supposed to make fancy web pages like this one. Most Computer Nerds just stick up their resume or something. The kinds of people who make good web pages are usually creative freaks who have nothing better to do with their time. Fortunately for you, I'm both a Computer Nerd and a creative freak who has nothing better to do with his time, so you don't have to sit around reading some techno-geek's resume, which would say something like:
I'm a Computer Nerd who graduated from high-school with strait A+'s, and I'm a senior in
Harvard University who gets straight A's. I'm in the honors program and
I have a scholorship and I'm president of the debate team and the Chess Club and
the Engineering Society and the Science Society and the Service Group and
the School Newspaper and the Catholic-Puritan Alliance, which makes me a well-
rounded person. I'm also a vegetarian because I don't like mean people who kill helpless, fuzzy
little animals, and I want World Peace and I like Affirmative Action. I worked
for Lots of Really Big Companies which paid me Lots of Money and my bosses all
liked me a lot because I was a good worker and a hard worker and I wore nice clothes.
If it makes you feel any better about me, I never got strait A's, I don't go to Harvard, I'm not the president of anything special, I think world peace isn't possible, I think Affirmative Action is going way overboard with the racism thing, I've never worked for a big company (as of September, 1998), I've never made lots of money (as of the same date), I don't wear nice clothes, and as far as the vegitarian thing goes, I say "the fuzzier, the better!"
I'm six feet tall, scrawny, bearded, have size 14 shoes, and long fingers.
I can wrap my fingers around my arm right behind the elbow. I can curl my tongue, fold my tongue, twist my tongue, lick my tongue, and bend my tongue into a flower shape. I can clap with one hand, snap with all but one finger on my hands, and slip my middle finger back and forth between the two neighboring fingers without seperating them. I can cross my toes, pick things up with my toes, and pick things up with just my thumb toe and second toe. I play music by hitting my cheeks, lips, chin, head, and the side of my nose, and by clapping in front of my face.
My hobies include writing, playing piano, singing, drawing, mass cyonide poisoning, reading, speed-walking, climbing, founding religeous cults, carving and wasting huge amounts of time making web pages and stupid computer art that I drew with Windows' generic painting program because I didn't want to bother spending a lot of time on drawing pictures and scanning them in, just so that random people could see what my friends look like and then hunt them down and kill them by putting snapping turtles down their pants and making blind children cut their hair.
I'm generally a pretty nice guy, and if you know any top-rate supermodels who are looking for a Computer Nerd who can cross his toes, feel free to give them my email address.
In fact, if you're the type of person who likes sending email to random wierdos, I think it'd be kinda Crinsly (that's a good thing) to get email from random people I don't know. You can send it to Eli.