Four rules for conduct at the gaming table

1. No Selfishness. The table is here to have fun together. Grabbing all loot for yourself, PVPing for no purpose other than bloodlust, trying to get the party hurt or killed, and any other form of “fun vampirism” is prohibited. Do not have fun at the other players' expense.
2. No Horniness. The table is not a singles bar. If you're looking for a hookup or your true love, look somewhere else. In-game, neither PCs nor NPCs are your sex dolls. Masturbate on your own time.
3. No Idiocy. You are not a comedian. Sure, we're all here to have fun, but if your unfunny jokes and distracting antics lead to the other players giving you the stink-eye, you are not making the game fun. Any psychological issues you may or may not have are not an excuse. When you are told to stop, STOP. Additionally, violating rules 1, 2, or 4 and then claiming “It was just a joke” is grounds for ejection from the table regardless of the original offense.
4. No Threats. Suggesting you will do sexual, physical, emotional, or social media-related harm against another player or yourself is grounds for immediate ejection, and the DM will, at his discretion, call the police to have you removed or arrested. “I didn't mean it” is not an excuse. “I got mad” is not an excuse. “I was drunk/high/in a bad mental state” is not an excuse; if you are, don't come to the game.

At this table, the DM concludes, “We take no S.H.I.T.!”

Taken from Reddit.